Waiting is so hard!

Waiting is so hard, and I am not good at it! A few days ago, our family welcomed our newest granddaughter, Annabelle Rose. Seeing her for the first time filled us with awe. The birth of a child is such an incredible display of the power, glory and creativity of our God! But waiting for her arrival, I had been growing more and more tense, like a runner poised at the starting line waiting for the gun. This was child number four for my daughter, and each delivery had been a little quicker than the one before. I was concerned whether she would make it to the hospital on time, and whether her husband (whose job requires him to travel most weekends) would be there for her. She had never made it to her projected due dates before, and one child had arrived three weeks early! Now we were approaching week 39 (a new record!), and Braxton Hicks contractions (also known as “practice contractions”) were occurring more and more frequently. I kept my cell phone in my pocket, suitcases packed and in the car (which was full of gas!) and, sometimes I went to bed fully dressed. I had worked out the scenario in my head a dozen times. The call would come, I would jump in the car and race to her house to calmly (yeah, right!) take care of the other children while her husband drove her to the hospital. Knowing things rarely happen as they are planned, I leaned on prayer partners and tried every day to trust in God’s perfect timing.
Waiting is so hard, especially when we are waiting for something we really want. We had been so excited at the thought of having another grandchild. It never gets old! Like the saying goes, “if I’d known how much fun my grandkids would be, I would have had them first!” As Christians, we often have to struggle with waiting for God’s answer to our most heartfelt prayers. We don’t always understand His timing. Our deepest hope and greatest anticipation is for the return of Jesus Christ as King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Zechariah 14 tells us that He will stand on the Mount of Olives and inaugurate His promised kingdom, bringing peace and healing to the nations of the earth. Hopefully, we desire His kingdom above all else (Matt. 6:33). The Bible uses the analogy of birth on numerous occasions in reference to this time. “…creation itself will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. ….the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now” (Romans 8:21-22). “Shall the earth be made to give birth in one day? Shall a nation be born at once? For as soon as Zion travailed, she gave birth to her children…Behold, I will extend peace to her like a river, and the glory of the Gentiles like a flowing stream….on her sides shall you be carried, and be dandled on her knees, as one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you…” (Isaiah: 66:8, 12-13).
Waiting is hard, especially when the wait seems to go on and on. Sometimes I got a little weary of being constantly ready and tried to convince myself there was plenty of time. The Apostle Paul warned “for when they say, ‘Peace and safety!’ then sudden destruction comes upon them, as labor pains upon a pregnant woman…..but you, brethren, are not in darkness so that this Day should overtake you as a thief….let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be self-controlled” (I Thessalonians 5:3-6). I am reminded of the parable of the virgins in Matthew 25. It is sobering to read that they all slept, but at least five of them slept with their clothes on, figuratively speaking, and their lamps full of oil, knowing the time of the Bridegroom’s coming was near. We are warned that there would be scoffers who would say, “Where is the promise of His coming?” (II Peter 3:4). Judging by what they could see, nothing was any different than the day before. Jesus said we would not know the day or the hour when He would return (Matt. 24:42,) but He also said “…when you see all these things (referring to the signs mentioned earlier in the chapter) know that it is near, at the very doors…” (Matthew 24:33).
Waiting is hard when there is pain and discomfort. The hardest part of the waiting for me was seeing my daughter so uncomfortable. And I knew it was going to get worse before it got better. “A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come, but as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish for joy that a human being has been born into the world” (John 16:21). What a perfect analogy for the end time. We live in a world that is filled with pain and sorrow, with wars and natural disasters escalating. Scripture indicates it will get worse before it gets better. However, a time of refreshing, restoration and healing is promised at the return of Christ (Acts 3:20-21). And, ultimately, “according to His promise, we look for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells” (2 Peter 3:13). “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him” (I Cor. 2:9).
The waiting is over for our granddaughter. Every prayer was answered, God’s timing was perfect. It always is. May He grant us the grace to remain faithful while we wait on Him. “Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him….those who wait on the Lord, they shall inherit the earth” (Psalm 37:7,9).

Ok, I admit it…..sometimes I have a weird way of looking at things. A few years ago, after enduring the dreaded colonoscopy procedure, I shared some thoughts with close friends about a spiritual analogy that kept coming to my mind. They cautioned me not to blog about it for fear the point might be lost in the end (pun intended….). A few days ago, I had to undergo an endoscopy. Since this procedure dealt with the north end instead of the south end, I thought maybe my “insights” would be easier to swallow….
Laying on the prep bed, with a skimpy sheet inadequately covering my drafty hospital gown, I was feeling increasingly chilled and vulnerable. Maybe doctors find us easier to work with if we are completely humbled first, after all, there has to be some reason for the wait. All prepped, IV in my arm, anxious to get this over with…..I waited….and waited. It didn’t help that I was in a room full of patients recovering from the south end procedure, whose bodies were making humorous sounds to the delight of the staff. I tried to dismiss the comment my husband made before the nurse took me in….”gee, I hope they don’t use the same tube….” It didn’t fill me with confidence when the nurse paused and said, “oh, you’re getting an endoscopy….let me turn you around and wheel you in head first…”
The thought of having a camera sliding down my throat, taking pictures all the way to my small intestine, was unnerving and I welcomed the sedative. I had been having occasional debilitating pain in swallowing for a number of years, and I was looking forward to finding the cause and fixing the problem. I was fascinated by the pictures the doctor showed us afterward, and thought, truly, we are “fearfully and wonderfully made!” David spoke these words in Psalms 139. He concluded his psalm of praise with this passionate request, ‘Search me, O God, and know my heart…..see if there is any wicked way in me…..lead me in the way everlasting.” The Hebrew word for search in this passage is “chaqar,” and it means “to examine intimately, to penetrate.” I thought of the many passages that refer to God’s word as “light.” “The entrance of Your Words gives light. It gives understanding to the simple” (Psalms 119:130). Physically speaking, the penetrating light of that tiny camera revealed the cause of my difficulty and I was given a prescription to promote healing. Without that light, I would never have known what was causing the pain. Spiritually speaking, God alone “reveals deep and secret things; He knows what is in the darkness and light dwells with Him” (Daniel 2:22). Going through this experience reminded me that I have a daily need to ask God to examine me, for “who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults, keep back your servant from presumptuous (arrogant) sins” Psalm 19:12-13. God will show us the things in our lives that are hurting us spiritually, if we really want to know. I think sometimes we feel vulnerable, as if we are wearing that skimpy hospital gown, afraid someone may see our backside. We would rather go through life sedated. But God alone offers complete healing, life everlasting, for “God is the Lord, and He has given us light” (Psalm 118:27).

I love trees! Towering oaks, with limbs that beckon for swings or tree houses…..lovely myrtles, alive with blossoms all summer long….maples, that so beautifully shade us in the summer heat, then thrill us with autumn hues of red and gold. Maybe it’s because I grew up in the desert southwest that I am so fascinated by trees. In West Texas, we joked that if anyone found a tree, he would put a fence around it and call it a park!
Recently, we had the pleasure of renewing relationships with members of our family, cousins Eve and Larry, that we had not seen in years. Sitting in the backyard of their lovely home near Orlando, Florida, I couldn’t help but notice an unusual tree. It stood tall and shapely, looking similar to a fir, but unlike any I had ever seen, so I asked what it was. Larry explained that it was a Norfolk Pine. He said there was one just like it on their porch in a pot. In fact, the two trees were purchased at the same time and looked identical when they were purchased. I went inside the porch to see the other tree. I was astounded! I could hardly believe this small potted plant was the same kind of tree that so beautifully graced their backyard!
I couldn’t quit thinking about those trees. One was simply a potted house plant, the other was a full-grown tree, haven for birds and delight to the eyes. I am in a transition period in my own life, retiring from a wonderful teaching career, and, as I thought about those trees, an analogy kept coming to my mind…..how many times have I been like that potted plant… safe in my comfort zone, sheltered from the heat of the day, safe, but not growing. I admire people with courage, who seem fearless, because I am a big chicken. But I know that the most rewarding times of my life have always been when I took a risk, ventured out of my comfort zone, and trusted God inspite of my fears. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding: In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). I have come to understand that “Acknowledging Him” includes the greater meaning of seeking Him and submitting to His will as He reveals it in any situation. “Acknowledging Him” means it’s not all about me….
The parable of the talents in Matthew 25 teaches a similar lesson. A man getting ready to travel to a far country called his servants together. He gave them talents, five, two or one, according to their individual ability, and charged them with the responsibility to care for his treasure until he returned. The servants with five and two talents invested them and doubled the value. The servant with one talent dug in the ground and buried it to keep it “safe” until his master returned. The response of the master upon his return was profound. He called the servant who had buried his talent “unprofitable.” Now, there’s a scary thought….we can be servants, but still be unprofitable for God’s kingdom work!
Now, facing a major transitional time in my life, the easiest thing for me to do would be to become like the potted plant. The thought scares me. I don't want to be an "unprofitable servant." But I know that means stepping out of my comfort zone, and trusting God. "Blessed is the man (or woman) who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord, for he shall be like a tree planted by the waters which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes....nor will cease from yielding fruit" (Jeremiah 17:7-8). I want to be a river oak "rooted and grounded in love," (Ephesians 3:17) thriving in the light of the Son! but, a Norfolk Pine would be nice, too...

The school where I work occasionally has book sales. Recently, as I was perusing some of the new selections, I found what has now become my all-time favorite book for children, Wherever You Are, my love will find you, by Nancy Tillman. I think any parent, or grandparent, could relate to this book…”I wanted you more than you ever will know, so I sent love to follow wherever you go.” “My love is so high, so wide and so deep, it’s always right there, even when you’re asleep.” The words (and illustrations!) are beautiful, but what drew me most to this book was the realization that, whether we are aware of it or not, our God loves us more than we “ever will know.”
In the past couple of months, our family has run the gamut of emotion, the grief of untimely death, the exaltation of birth, the heaviness of health challenges. In each circumstance, God has overwhelmed us with His presence, His power and, most of all, His love. A dear friend recently joked with me that “life is good…..but livin is hard!” Her words made me smile, but recent circumstances made me readily agree that “life is hard!” God never said it would be easy. His Word tells us, “When (not if) you pass through the waters, I will be with you….When (not if) you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned….” (Isaiah 43:2). God’s promise is that He would be with us, anywhere, in any circumstance.
Isaiah 41:13 has become one of my favorite scriptures, "For I, the Lord your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you 'Fear not, I will help you.'" When our children were toddlers, we loved holding their trusting hands and walking with them. We delighted in sharing the wonders of the world around us while wanting to protect them from any hurt or pain. It’s fair to say we would have done anything to protect them and give them a good life. If it were possible, we would have taken their hurts upon ourselves and shielded them from pain. In the heart of a parent God opens a window into His own heart. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” (John 3:16) We know this verse well, having seen it on countless bumper stickers, banners at sporting events, and written as graffiti on highway overpasses. But the words bounce off of us in the complacency of familiarity rather than astounding us with the depth and power of their meaning. But pause for a minute to let the words sink in…..the Creator of the universe, Star-breather, life-giver, so loved the world (Gk, “kosmos” meaning the created world and its inhabitants) that He gave His only Son. Perhaps when God created a parent’s heart, He wanted us to understand a little of the magnitude of this gift. There simply was nothing more valuable or precious that He could give. Why would He do such a thing? that we might have life, as part of His family, forever. “What manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God” (I. John 3:1). No, God doesn’t protect us from every painful circumstance. Rather, He uses these trials to refine and purify us, like a goldsmith burning away the dross until he can see his own reflection in the precious metal. There have been moments in the past few weeks when God has overwhelmed me with the immensity of His love. In Ephesians 3, Paul prayed that we “being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend ….the width and length and depth and height…to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge….” Simply put, wherever we are, God’s love will find us….